Before going, I brushed my teeth (for the second time in two hours) and swished Listerine around in my mouth long enough to give my tongue a nice blue tint ("It burnses us, it burnses!"). My thinking was, “If I were going to be poking around in some stranger’s mouth, I would appreciate any effort on his part to make his breath “minty fresh.”
Thus I can claim to be motivated by the Golden Rule.
The problem with the Golden Rule though, is how do you treat someone who doesn’t share your attitudes about a particular situation. The easiest analogical question might be, do you spank a masochistic lover even though you find hitting anathema to the act of making love?
While you’re working that out, It hink Jesus meant something kind of different with the whole “do unto others” thing. I doubt he was actually talking about specific acts of intended kindness. As my example demonstrates, that can be a tricky proposition.
Also motivations might not be pure, even when we do something nice that is also appreciated. For instance, it’s true I didn’t want to subject my dentist and her assistant to any lingering cigarette odor on my breath. But ego was involved as well. I would be embarrassed to be thought of as “the guy with stinky breath.” That’s basically a self-centered consideration.
The Golden Rule is a proactive hedge against self-centeredness or in the extreme, narcissism. Rather than trying to guess what will make another person “happy” (whether you think it’s your Christian duty or whether you're looking to be someone’s Man-of-the-Year) at the core is an admonition to understand that another person’s life — their hopes, dreams, and aspirations — is every bit as important to them as yours is to you.That’s really a hard thing for me to remember, and even harder to incorporate in how I deal with other people. Most days, I’d rather just smack somebody, and stop at feeling proud of myself for doing it.
2 comments:
Hey
I've got the whole dentist thing going on -- I'm getting two implants next month. I'm a little nervous about it, but it should be ok. I hope you trip was uneventful.
On to the Golden Rule.
I think you have it a bit backwards. It's not that you do things people would appreciate or like, but rather that you don't do things that you would prefer someone not do to you.
So, brushing, flossing and using mouthwash is ok, because if you were a dental hygenist (sp?) you wouldn't want to deal with someone's stinky mouth.
As for your more lurid example, I would translate that into: Don't spank anyone unless you are ok with getting spanked in return.
In other words, it's not about what the other person wants, it's what you are willing to tolerate. The idea is that you don't have a deathwish. Or perhaps a high tolerance for pain. Take your pick. In the later case, you get what you ask for, I guess.
I think we probably get some "credit" for any honest attempt to follow the golden rule. But I'm not sure I agree with "don't do things that you would prefer someone not do to you."
The rule says: "DO unto others .. " not "Don't do unto others ..." A minor quibble, probably, and like i said, it's probably the thought that counts. :-)
Good luck with the implants. I've got crowns coming ...
Post a Comment