Pay Me Instead

Let me make one thing clear: I think anthropogenic global warming (AGW) is pure hogwash.

On the other hand, any effort that cuts our dependence on foreign oil would be a very, very good thing indeed. Imagine a world where the sand that covers Saudi Arabia is worth more than the thick black liquid beneath. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

This leads me to the issue of carbon credits and so-called "cap and trade" — a bad idea whose time may have come. You may be somewhat familiar with this if you’ve heard how our climate-alarmist-in-chief Al Gore or AGW sycophant Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger pay for carbon credits to off-set the fact that they can’t bring themselves to live with the kind of energy restrictions they demand of everyone else. From what I understand, it’s currently a self-imposed duty that funds the planting of trees somewhere.

Some well-meaning but misguided people (the most dangerous folks in the world) as well as some plain old socialists (who changed colors from red to green), would like governments to make these cap-and-trade schemes mandatory. Governments or people would see a limit on how much they should use. If you use more than your allotted share, you pay a tax. With the plans I’ve heard about, this would mostly result in rich nations sending money to Third World nations where it would undoubtedly line the pockets of thuggish dictators and their kleptocracies.

But instead of planting trees in Brazil (under the voluntary plan) or filling the Swiss bank account of who ever is in charge of plunder and murder in some African country (that would be a UN plan backed by international law), we (in the U.S.) could transfer the payments to individuals in our own country.

Schwarzenegger, who takes a private jet from Los Angeles to Sacramento to fulfill his duties as the Governator, could send his payments to me. My “carbon footprint” certainly can’t be very big. I live in a tiny apartment (the whole thing is probably smaller than one of Al Gore’s walk-in closets) and work from home. When I do drive (on average less than 600 miles a month) my car gets a very fuel-efficient 33 mpg.

Afraid I’d just use my additional income to move into a bigger home and take fabulous trips? What if we put the money into tax-free retirement accounts? After all, the Ponzi scheme that is our Social Security System is bound to break down — probably sooner rather than later. It’s not like the ivory-tower liberals who love the idea of a carbon tax are going to be eating dog food in their old age, but they could help those of us who most likely do have Alpo in our future.

I Hate Daylight Savings Time

The clocks moved forward an hour this weekend. As someone who doesn’t even get sleepy until 2:00 a.m. (that’s 3:00 a.m. now) the idea of getting up an hour earlier just so I have a better chance of hearing the birds chirp is about as appealing as a dental root planing.

Oh yeah, we also get an extra hour of sunlight in the afternoon. Big whoop. It won’t be long until it is 95 degrees outside and humid. Sure as heck wouldn’t want to miss out on any of that!

What I don’t understand is why we call something “Standard Time” if we only get to enjoy it about four months out of the year? I mean, if we have to do something a certain way about two-thirds of the time (as god-awful as it is) isn’t that pretty much “standard.”

I realize there are way too many annoying people (read: morning people) wedded to DST to have any hope of getting rid of it, but maybe we could at least change the names so they make sense. I propose changing Savings Time to "Standard" (I’d prefer something profane, but I know that wouldn’t fly.) Then we could change Standard to "Blessed."

After all, we do get to have Blessed Time over the major holidays … giving us another reason why the Christmas season is the most wonderful time of the year.