Monday, July 21, 2008

And now for something completely different ...

I'm tired of writing about Backtrack Oblahblah, but nothing else really comes to mind, so I've dug up some of my poetry.

My Fish is Swimming Upside Down

My fish is swimming upside down
And bumping into stuff.
He is my fav'rite goldfish
But this has gone on long enough!

I think maybe he's just tired
From swimming ev'ry day.
I let him sleep with me last night,
And hoped he'd be okay.

I think my fish went right to sleep
Though it's pretty hard to know.
Fishies never close their eyes
So when they sleep it doesn't show.

When I got up this morning
I put him in his tank.
When mommy changed my covers,
She said my pillow stank.

Now my fish is mostly floating
As he bobs from side to side.
Still he's quite a friendly goldfish
And he gives a snail a ride.

Daddy's looking at my goldfish.
He's got a funny frown.
Now he pats me on the shoulder
And he says, "Come here, sit down."

He sets me up upon his knee,
And he says it's okay to cry.
He says, "For everything their comes,
A time to say goodbye."

He tells me lots of other things
That I don't understand.
But it doesn't really matter,
Cause my my daddy held my hand.

Still at first I didn't like it
But dad knew what to do.
So when it's time to go to Heaven,
I hope someone will flush me too.

-- Capertree

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Is It Truly That Hard to Stop Smoking?

I’d been puffing away for the past 13 or so years — probably up to a pack and half per day. About 12 days ago, I decided to quit. No great revelation led to my decision nor was I persuaded to give up cigarettes by friends, family, or some random public service message. I was nearly out of cigarettes and had a dentist appointment the next day. Since I was getting my teeth cleaned, I figured I could help keep them that way if I stopped smoking.

I’ve had one lapse. The evening that I officially stopped, I had three cigarettes left. About four days later — about two-thirds of the way through ten hours of boring newsletter editing — I gave in and smoked one of those three remaining cigarettes. Then I destroyed the other two.

The addiction part has been less difficult for me to get over than the habit. There was some irritability during the first few days and some unusual restlessness, but with the exception of that one instance, I haven’t been exactly climbing the walls in desperation. What has been most stressful is missing the ritual of lighting up. I find myself looking for my ash tray when I sit my favorite chair. Or when I’m writing, I keep wanting a cigarette because that was how I worked. (Even though frequently a cigarette could end up becoming just one long ash if I was really into what ever I was doing.) I also miss having a cigarette after a meal or when I conclude some project or activity. That desire is becoming less pronounced with each passing day, and now I can’t imagine buying any more cigarettes.

To be honest — given the great pain and suffering I was led to believe would descend upon me — I’m most surprised at how easily I’ve stopped.

(My dad smoked heavily for about 50 years then he decided to quit cold turkey. His method was keeping a pack in his shirt pocket, but whenever he felt the urge, he would “put off” smoking for a little while. Thus, he kept putting it off until he didn’t want a cigarette anymore.)

I think a big problem is that there’s not very many people with a vested interest in saying it’s not that hard to quit. Makers of smoking cessation products (i.e. nicotine patches, gum, etc.) need you to believe it will be difficult to stop so you’ll buy whatever they’re selling. Tobacco companies can strategically appear to support smoking cessation programs, but by hyping how hard it is to quit, they may actually be discouraging their customers from trying. Government agencies and other do-gooder types aren’t ever going to be happy unless they can convince all of us we’re hopeless incompetents who really shouldn’t be trusted to tie our own shoe laces. Their constant message is “life is hard and scary, and you need professional (or government) help to make it through."

As for the people who stop smoking? What’s the incentive in saying it’s easy? People congratulate you for quitting. Friends and family are supportive. If you’re rude to someone, you can blame it on nicotine withdrawal. You can eat more … because everyone knows quitting cigarettes leads to weight gain.

Most importantly, if you fail at quitting … well, you know, “it’s very, very hard to quit.”

I’m thinking though, it we really wanted people to quit smoking we’d stop saying how hard it is. Rather than fawning all over the person who decides to stop, we should note that only a weak and pathetic loser would give in to such an illogical temptation.

I know it sounds a bit cruel. But really, if you lead people to expect failure, you end up getting it a lot more often than you should.

Still, if anyone wants to congratulate me, go ahead. I really won’t mind.